I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
operation harelip BJ is a go
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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