her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
