The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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