Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
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Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
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He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize