dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
