ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize