I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
