watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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