come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
