You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
