he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
