Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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