if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
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Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
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All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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