Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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