Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
