What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
