I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think I just sharted jello shots
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
