My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize