i jhust puked up my retainher.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
