I think my vagina is haunted
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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