careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
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Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
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At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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