Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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