Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
