I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
