is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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