Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
