we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
