I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize