you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
