i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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