So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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