At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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