Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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