yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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