My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
did i walk over a car last night?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
