If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
