at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
