i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I feel great
I just peed on a car
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
