In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
