My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
