would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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