do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize