honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
