Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
