just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.