Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
