shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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