ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
