You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
