When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
