I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
