areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
