I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
