BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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