you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
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Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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