My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize